She’s alive — but not living. The last seven years have seen my wife’s spirit be deflated, trampled, crushed and ground to a fine dust. These words are all I have to keep it from blowing away.
This is the story of what we’re going through right now.
https://medium.com/@white9257/i-couldnt-save-my-wife-7c318be1230b
I feel there’s something missing. I’m not a druid, I don’t have an animistic (animist?) belief system where I believe that everything has a ‘spirit’ or is suitable to be talked-to (I’m not going to talk to my spoon as I stir-in the sugar in my coffee, nor am I going to thank the ‘spirits of water’ as I wash my hands). Perhaps that’s exactly what’s missing from my ‘practice’.
Jaw-dropping, wide-eyed, childlike wonder.
When was the last time you were deeply awed by something? How often do you let yourself be filled with gobsmacking wonder by the fact that any of this happens at all? The universe is utterly insane, completely arbitrary and there’s absolutely no reason it should happen at all except that it couldn’t have happened any other way.
